#1 - Feb. 3, 2011, 10:56 a.m.
DPS'ers get a hard time. I mean, a real hard time.
They are accused by tanks of being carried through dungeons, of not doing enough damage, of pulling adds.
They are accused by healers of standing in the fire, of not doing enough damage, of pulling adds.
Shadowfene decided yesterday (Wed 02/02) to prove them all right. He is currently awaiting trial for seriously endangering the mental well-being of all tanks and healers.
Witness Testimony
The crime occured in Stonecore (normal), on what promised to be a an enjoyable dungeon run.
At first, the healer and tank politely expressed concern that DPS figures were too low. This was largely ignored by everyone. And then the group proceeded to their first (and only) wipe.
The group recovered, but things did not improve much. Or at all. The tank then noticed that Shadow was running around with Righteous Fury on and asked him to switch it off. Shadow had no problem switching it OFF, but couldn't remember having switched it ON in the first place. The tank and healer decided to switch to their native language to express their concern. Thankfully, Shadow didn't understand their words for Noob, and A**H*le.
Things quickly went from worse to worse. The healer instructed group members to jump when the boss cast Earthquake. This was understood by all. Except Shadow. Earthquake followed Earthquake, with Shadow remaining rooted to the spot.
"ffs JUMP!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?" roared the healer. Upon this, Shadow banged his spacebar so hard that it attempted to literally jump off his keyboard.
"I am jumping!" said poor Shadow. And indeed, he did jump. That once.
"Then why you always at 50K HP?" asked the healer angrily, slowly starting to show signs of coming apart at the seams.
Another party member stepped in at this point to calm the situation. "Chill guys, we all here to have fun." Nobody agreed.
However, the healer wasn't the only one coming apart at the seams.
"Pala - REPENTANCE" shouted the tank.
Shadow carefully moused over all party member icons, checking to see who the other pala was. It then dawned on him that he was the only one, and the only Repentance he could offer was being sorry that he hadn't specced it.
"ffs", "omg" "ATTACK THE SAME TARGET" filled the party channel as the mobs charged the party. At this time, both tank and healer were aboard the good ship "Livid", happily sailing towards the port of "Insanity". Chaos reigned.
But all good things must come to an end, and the dungeon was no exception. The healer needed a WC break, probably to be sick. Shadow didn't need one, having just got sick in his own lap.
Following the defeat of the last boss, both healer and tank ported out of the dungeon without any parting words of fond farewell. In hindsight, they had probably been forcibly removed by concerned family members, who were naturally concerned at the obvious signs of over-excitement their beloved kin were showing.
Asked if he had anything to say in his defence, Shadow; whilst repairing his keyboard; philosophically replied:
"In my opinion running dungeons is polite English for being insane. Using the LFD tool is the medical term for being incurably so."
