Does WoW have a story or something?

I've played every single Warcraft game since Warcraft I and loved every second of each. They only get better and better, and that statement includes WoW. I spent a huge amount of time playing the user made custom games like DoTA too... man were they fun. (DoTA Allstars, greatest. game. ever.)

The game play... the real time strategy... the heroes with their own unique abilities... the interaction with others... owning other people in PVP... it's all what makes Warcraft the best.

But what I've never been able to catch on to is the story. Seriously... I have no idea what the hell is going on. Too many words... not enough face bashing.

You want me to go into that instance and kill the big fat hippo looking dude with the big sword that's all tied up? Cool... I love epic gear!

What is he doing there? I have no freakin clue. What's his name? Big fat hippo guy? I don't know...

And the dude with the two ninja stars and a blindfold. He's a badass... but I'm not sure how he fits in. Didn't he kill the guy that's half horse/half tree and marry the hot elf chick? No wait.. she turned into the undead evil queen right? Or was that starcraft?

Seriously people... I have no patience for the back stories to this game. This is not trolling. I need someone to summarize for me who the main dudes are and what they did. I think I know the palladin dude only because I remember he has a bad ass mace or something.

Please halp!