Gimme alpha key

Dear Blizzard,
Recently I had my final exams which I did great at because I am really smart and stuff,
I saw that you gave Legion Alpha keys to streamers,familly and friends to ''test'' it.
Basically what i want to ask you is can i get an alpha key?If not can you find me
a girlfriend??I think you have to go with the option number one because I am poor
not that good looking and not so funny.So let's make a deal.
Give me an alpha key and I will not go around scaring people with my face or
I will try to get a girlfriend which people might take as terrorizing inoccent people.

Sincerely Hellakatoc