The question of what would happen if the Unstoppable Force collided with the Immovable Object has weighed on men’s minds for eons. But I have the answer: It doesn’t matter! These things just are because they are. It’s like trying to ponder why gnomes are perfect for punting. Knock it off—they just are!
Much the same, your training mission this week is what it is. Yes, I understand a few of you were saddened to take on a cute little girl whose dead bunnies now litter the hillside in Redridge, and you’re now paying the consequences of your ruthless and heartless actions. Aren’t you the sensitive type! This time, though, there is no story or reasoning—Analynn is an acquaintance, and she’s more than ready to help train you.
OK, I’m not being completely honest. I’ve known Analynn for a fair amount of time, but her smile is really, really creepy. No, seriously, it’s creepy like whoa! A few months ago, I was riding through the area when I heard, “Dark Lady watch over you.” The craggy voice made me and my mighty steed stop dead in our tracks. I looked over and there was Analynn, smiling at me with her rotten mouth, worm-filled teeth, and all . . . barf!!
That’s when I noticed she had a team of pets, and I thought, what sweeter revenge could there be for her stomach-churning grin than to send my able-bodied tamers to take her on? Crithto!
Crithto: Put on your rose-tinted sunglasses, tamers—you’re headed to the west side of Ashenvale! There you’ll find Analynn and her team—Mister Pinch, Oozer, and Flutterby—awaiting your arrival. For this training exercise, your team is to consist of a level-4 Elemental, a level-4 Undead, and a level-5 Beast in that order. Be conscious of your team’s quality and abilities, and see if you can’t turn that creepy smile into a marginally less creepy frown!
Simple, right? And yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to offer her a mint or two or five.
BE QUICK ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!