Love, shmove! If I were able to say “bah, humbug!” at this time of year, I would. In fact . . . bah, humbug! Who needs love and companionship when you’re this good looking?! Who needs chocolates and rose petals and a Romantic Picnic Basket when people exalt your name across the planet and relish in your glorious presence when you enter a room?
I can tell by the pinkish hue in your eyes you need these things. Fine.
Since so many of you are mired in this ickiest of seasons, let’s just get this lovey-dovey nonsense out of the way. I suppose your need to become a true champion of Pet Battles could somehow find reason and purpose in the distractions of Love is in the Air, right? Damn right it could!
If you insist on participating in this sickly sweet affair, then you’re going to have to report back to me with every single achievement completed. That’s right! Charming. Flirt with Disaster. Dangerous Love. Nation of Adoration. Sweet Tooth. My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose. Shafted. Lonely. The Rocket’s Pink Glare. Fistful of Love. Be Mine. I Pitied The Fool . . . every single one of them. And what’s your prize for all this effort? My flower-picking, bow-wearing pug friend has more.
Crithto: I’m pitying the fool right now . . . err, yes! Uhem, let’s get on with the details, shall we? Peddlefeet is your prize; he’s a lovable winged goblin who may be a little harsh to look at, but can pack a major punch on the battlefield. Abilities like Perfumed Arrow and Shot Through the Heart can be devastating to your opponent—yet Peddlefeet can be quite resilient when he uses Lovestruck and Love Potion to stay in the fight. One word of caution, though: Peddlefeet—who carries a bow and plenty of arrows—tends to respond to perfume and cologne with gusto!
Still in the mood for love? Sigh . . . terrific. I tend to think some of you are pretty clueless, so here’s a tip: Our friend Perculia has a fantastic guide filled with tons of details on the Love is in the Air event and how you can earn a Peddlefeet of your own, which you can read here. Follow that, and you should be able to return to me with your chocolate covered, rose-laden heads held high.
JUST DON’T EYEBALL ME!